I used to encounter lots of jerks. These days, I don't run into very many jerks at all.
That might sound bizarre, but it's true.
Did humanity magically change? Maybe.
Did my standards decrease? Nope. If anything, they've risen.
Awhile back, a reader emailed me the other day with one sentence, in response to a post I wrote about understanding men:
"Some men are just jerks. It's not that complicated."
Sure. I agree. There are some really crappy bad apples out there. Some are men.
Intentionally continuing a relationship with a truly toxic partner is an awful, soul-destroying life. No argument here.
But that sentence rests on a hidden assumption: that all you need to do is find a good man and all your relationship problems will be solved.
So let's get a magic wand out and dismiss all the jerks. Wipe them off the face of the Earth. Poof. Now all we have left is non-jerks.
Sounds cool. I'm into this fantasy land.
Is your life magically uncomplicated now?
The stakes are actually higher. Because now you know for certain that every potential partner you come into contact with is a solid gold winner.
If you're failing to attract someone right for you, or you're going through a rocky, hard time where you have to grit your teeth to sort everything out, you can't chalk it all up to the person in front of you.
What you have to work with now is everything you bring to the relationship, whether or you truly connect, and whether you're accidentally doing stuff that turns people off.
Much love,

To feel more love and connection anytime you want, check out The Love Magnet Meditation.
I originally made it so I could attract romantic love, but it became something so much more useful.
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If you’re feeling stuck, take The Mirror Assessment.
It’s five minute quiz that shows the pattern currently hijacking your attention so you can stop pouring energy into the wrong fix.
Don’t waste your time and energy fixing a bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter. It’s 100% free.
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